There's a man standing at a sink with the hot water running in front of him. The steam is rising out of the sink creating a bit of fog on the mirror. his face is half shaven, but he pauses and drops the razor.
Without any warning, he pounds his fists onto the counter top, and as he looks in the mirror, he has tears streaming down his face. "Lord I need you to make me ok with this." he speaks out audibly. "I don't think I can keep doing this God! Please take it!"
Slowly, the timeline starts to play out again.
Around three years before this, the Pastor at his church had announced that his assignment had changed, and that he and his wife were leaving the church they started, to pursue a missionary calling after buying a boat to live on. There was some time left, they were not to depart immediately.
That very day at a potluck, (after the announcement service) he was approached by two different people, asking if he was going to be the next pastor of the church. He laughed it off, absolutely not.
Later down the timeline, he attended services at Bethel Church in Redding California. He was approached by a woman there, who began to prophesy over him, telling him that the Lord told her that he is a pastor. That he would lead a church and change community culture. That many would come to Christ as the Lord used him as a vessel.
Even still, a missionary from Africa came to the church, and as he tried to quietly leave he was called to the front, where again a prophesy was told over him, that he had started as a drummer in the worship band, but he was going to come out and the words from his mouth were going to free bondages and win souls.
After these confirmations, at some point, the Pastor began to text him random questions. It seemed odd, but he answered them as they came in. The pastor would later reveal that these questions were little tests, to see if the answers were correct and in accordance with scripture.
This began a series of meetings, texts and phone calls. throughout the next year, he and the pastor began to grow close together. They would discuss the future of the church. They prayed for vision going forward. They discussed issues in the church. One of which involved a couple at the church that had recently publicly disclosed some personal moral issues. They were going through a process.
At that time our sister was going through quite a bit. He had reached out to her husband as was attempting to minister to him. As He and the pastor spoke of the situation, he expressed that maybe it would be a good idea for our sister to step back from her responsibilities and take a break, as he had seen her around church, emotional. The pastor kept talking and the conversation went on from there. A few days later the pastor informed him that the pastors wife had reached out and shared his concerns. He was told our sister was offended and hurt by what he had said.
He followed up with our sister, and the conversation had gone well. He assured her that he had meant no ill will, and that what was said was out of love, surely not judgement from only having one side of the story, from her husband.
A few weeks later, on a Sunday morning, he was at worship band practice. After practice, there was time to get coffee and socialize before church started. The pastor approached him, and said they needed to talk. He was taken into a small room at the back of the church, where our sister was waiting. Apparently she had told the pastor that when she came in the sanctuary while they were practicing, when she saw him the Lord told her "pride". So after he told them that he didn't know what that meant, he was told to sit down and they began to pray over him and ask the Lord to reveal any prideful thoughts or things that he needed to repent of. He remembered how he felt. How he trusted them, and that he was sure that at their advanced spiritual level, they must have a sense for something that he didn't see. To this very day, he has no idea what that was about. He said a general prayer of repentance. But the Lord never showed him what was "seen".
Around this time the pastor began to answer the phone "Hey Pastor".
Around this time the pastor purchased his boat. The pastor would ask him to fill in speaking while he was away. He was asked to lead a good Friday service on zoom, where the church took communion together. The meetings, calls, and texts continued. He enrolled in a AOG credential program. He began to fill in quite a bit when the pastor was away handling issues with the boat. His passion for teaching began to reignite.
At one point he delivered a message in the wake of the George Floyd situation that was unfolding. Afterwards during the closing song, the pastor approached him and placed his hands on his shoulders. The pastor said "Do you feel that? That's the mantle of Pastor falling on you."
Then came election time. He began to notice a strange, hateful energy around people he knew and loved. So he made a Facebook post about it. Attempting to call peoples attention to their actions. This upset our sister, so she called the pastor. The pastor called him and very angrily told him that his post wasn't appropriate. He assured the pastor that he felt that it was a message from the Lord.
There were testimonies in the church of a certain candidate on an ivory pedestal. Another about the Ark of the covenant being returned to the temple, and that certain candidate was the ark.
After this, he felt led to make another post of warning. Our sister once again immediately called the pastor, who accused him of "stirring up the hornet's nest again". The pastor was so angry, he didn't wish to talk that night, he wanted to wait until the next day.
After the election, we had a new Vice President. His wife saw a poem, written for young black girls, about how far they can go and achieve what they work hard for. It was a beautiful poem, which they felt a strong connection to, since they have an adopted daughter who is dark skinned. We had never had a female Vice President before, not only that, but a woman of color. The poem was not in agreement with political policies, ideology, or parties. It was simply telling little girls of color to dream big. Look how far it's possible to go! The articles only downfall? A picture of the new Vice President. Our sister reached out to the pastor again. Pastor got him on the phone and called the new VP a horrible, despicable person. The pastor talked about her sleeping her way to the top. The pastor had serious concerns about his wife. He is absolutely positive that the pastor never even read the poem. (Further illustrating the legitimacy of the problems outlined in the facebook posts)
Before the first of the year, he spoke with the pastor feeling like he was being lead to start the year off with a new series on the book of Acts. It would be an expository series, verse by verse, chapter by chapter. He and his wife even purchased note Bibles for everyone in the church to use as the series went on.
Around this time, the pastor chose a panel of people from the church, to decide who would be the new pastor. Behind the scenes, our sister had reached out to a couple from Kansas City who were moving away from IHOP. It was her desire for them to be the new Pastors of the Church. She had a dream about them.
The panel began to have meetings.
When his name came up, the head elder on the panel said "He was never the guy".
On one particular Sunday, our sister's son came to him during the service, and asked if he was coming to the party later at his house. He asked Mom what that meant, and she assured him they were just having people over for lunch.
What our sister failed to mention, was that the couple from KC were coming to the house, and the guests? The people on the panel. The lunch turned into an impromptu Q&A session. An interview of sorts.
When asked by a member of the panel if he and his wife were going to be interviewed and asked questions the same way, at first the answer was no. But thankfully, after the question was asked again, the panel decided it would be fair to do so.
So he started the new series. He had never had the level of feedback from folks in the congregation like this before. The first three weeks, he was stopped in the parking lot and messaged on facebook about how much people were enjoying the series so far. On Thursday evening of that week, he was notified by the pastor that another member of the congregation was going to speak this week. When he spoke with the speaker, the speaker asked if there was anything in particular he was going to speak on. He responded by saying the next chapter is Acts 3, but I've already began work on that sermon, so the rest of your Bible is yours. He laughed and agreed.
That weeks scripture by the guest speaker was Acts 3.
The following week the couple from KC were asked to speak.
Then again.
The following week he resumed the previously agreed upon series. Again he received good feedback from several members of the congregation. After the service, the pastor reached out, and said that the congregation doesn't need this kind of preaching. The pastor said that the feedback he was getting was that he was teaching, like a professor, not preaching like a pastor. The pastor requested for him to find a topical sermon for the next Sunday.
That week, he and his wife met with the panel. At the meeting he did find a subject that seemed to be on most peoples minds. Children's ministry. They noticed during the meeting that our sister did not speak. She looked at the floor the entire hour plus time.
That is, until they left. As he and his wife were leaving, the front blinds were open, and our sister had pulled a few of the panel members into a room, and was talking animated with them, using her hands and bobbing her head. It was quite a sight, considering how quiet she had been the entire night.
The following Sunday he gave a call to action, which was preluded by someone sharing a testimony that had the exact phrase "what are we waiting for". Which was really cool, because he had his notes on stage and showed another member of the worship team the top title, "what are we waiting for". Such awesome confirmation.
That week the panel met again. Our sister claimed that the message felt manipulative on Sunday. A message calling out men to be better men, and raising up disciples in their homes. You can listen to it here: http://cotshome.com/media-sermons-and-such/sermons 2/22/21.
At this point his speaking Sundays started to get spread out. He was only given a few more chances to speak, as the couple from KC started getting more opportunities, and the pastor had returned to town.
The panel continued to meet.
His prayer changed to: "Lord if this is what you want, take away what needs to be taken, move what needs to be moved. I only want to do your will."
In April of that year, he returned to work after having a really bad case of Covid19, and was laid off. While he was sitting in the chair, as they handed him his pink slip, his first thought was, "This is God preparing the way."
The panel had their final meeting. At the meeting, when his name came up, people on the panel wondered why he had changed the way he was preaching. They didn't understand why he didn't continue the series. The pastor, who was present at this meeting, never said that he told him to stop.
So he had a meeting with the pastor. The pastor sat him down and said that the church was going with the KC couple. The pastor assured him that he was definitely called and gifted to be pastor, but just not right now. The pastor assured him that all of the things they had spoken about, the Elder Board, accountability, public business meetings, public finance knowledge, all of that would be in place before he left.
None of that happened.
The couple from KC assumed the church.
Nine months later the couple from KC were removed from leadership.
Last Sunday our sister told one of our friends in passing "See we were supposed to go with the couple from KC, if that hadn't happened, we wouldn't have who we have now."
(They were both on the panel)
Our sister is still in leadership at the church.
Would this be classified as spiritual abuse? Does this sound or look like the way God moves?
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