Christians and Social media: Please Lord, make it stop.

I have to admit something right off the bat here. This post comes from a source of frustration for me. I am in no way trying to ruffle any feathers, or direct this post at any individual persons.

Christians and social media.

We as Christians have a pretty weighty responsibility when we interact with our families, friends, and acquaintances on social media.

We have to make sure that anything that we are communicating is the truth. Everyone slips up, from time to time, but honestly. Ask yourself this question: How many times, have you seen a Christian brother or sister share something that was proven to be completely false, or proven to be completely false soon after?

When it comes to politics, lets be real.

No one in this country believes that any elected official does everything right. At least, I haven't met any. However, there is a difference between voicing your disagreement with something and sharing a cropped down pic of the president supposedly in Muslim clothing. (The pic is actually from a conference where all the world leaders, including Putin wore these special outfits for a portion of the conference.) SEVERAL of my friends and loved ones have shared this picture. The un-cropped image shows others wearing them. But the propaganda express wants you to think Obama hits the prayer mat 5 times a day while smoking Newports and funding terrorism.

Please people, think before you share. Sharing propaganda and untruthful doctored images does several bad things. It makes you look like a fool, it makes your other causes look bad, and can even change the way people look at you as a person.

If you are not 100% sure that what you are posting is factual, on any given subject, then DON'T POST IT. Just don't. Word travels extremely fast on social media, if you don't share, rest assured, if it is indeed true, people will know in minutes.

Here's the thing:

Ephesians 4:29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Instead, perhaps we should try to speak LIFE and LOVE into this broken world. No one that I know of ever came to know Christ Jesus by losing an argument, or by some share this pic of Jesus or he will be mad at you post. 

ICorinthians 13:1If I speak in the tongues^a of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^b but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love folks. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. 

Ask yourself this before you click share: HOW DOES THIS POST COMMUNICATE GOD'S LOVE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO READ MY POSTS? IS IT WHOLESOME? DOES IT CONTAIN BITTERNESS, RAGE, MALICE, BRAWLING OR SLANDER? 

Please Lord, make it stop. 

The MOST important thing to know

Let me sum up the most important truth that anyone could ever know.

Maybe you believed in God as a kid, but you kind of grew out of it.

Maybe you doubt. Like seriously doubt the whole thing. Maybe you think people who believe in a God are idiots.

Maybe you've been judged. Maybe by heartless, uninformed people who called themselves Christians.

Maybe you are Homosexual. Maybe you are Trans. Maybe you even believe you were born that way.

Perhaps you hate religion. You can't wrap your mind around how a loving God can let children starve to death in Africa.

Maybe you were formerly involved in the church. Maybe you had been a leader back in the day. Then you had "the church" basically chew you up and spit you out.

Maybe you had an abortion.

Maybe you are a felon.

Perhaps you are an addict. You just can't kick that habit.

Maybe you identify with some of these examples. Maybe a few.

Here is the thing,

YOU ARE DEEPLY LOVED BY GOD.

As a matter of fact, you were MADE to be LOVED by GOD.

YES. even you. Even through that thing.

As sure as every human was born to breathe, EVERY human was born to experience God.

Everything else, is secondary.

CORN

Looking at things from a corn seed's perspective can be extremely confusing.

Yes. I just said that. Bear with me here.

Today I was passing by the corn fields on the way home from work, and I noticed that one of them has been harvested now. The family has enjoyed remarking on how much it has grown as we have watched it from seedling to full grown stalks.

We start with the seed. The seed is thrown down on plowed ground, water or rain is added. The seed knows what to do. We as seeds know, we are going to germinate, we are going to grow. We are going to be a stalk some day.

We seeds ride out the storms. The lonely nights. The hot days. We seeds conserve the right amount of moisture to get us through the hot days and the dry days.

We see the goal and we go for it. All of our energy is focused on the end result. We are going to be an enormous stalk with ears of corn! This is what we were meant for!

As the days get a bit shorter, we look from our fields and see the leaves in the trees beginning to change colors!

We've done it! Look at us! We started as seeds but now we are full fledged stalks of corn! Look how tall we are! We are standing victorious!

But then one day, we hear a new sound in the field. It sounds like machinery?

Our seed minds don't have time to know what to think before the combine comes over us, striking our stalk and throwing us through the chute.

But wait! We as seeds have done everything we are supposed to do! We grew! We stretched! We conserved!

This can't be right! Why is this happening to us!?

This can't be God's plan for us?! We did everything we were designed to do! Why are we being punished? What did we do wrong?

And so it is with us as people. We don't see the big picture. Some of it, we can see in the past. But the Big God picture we will never understand in this life.

We as seeds don't even realize, we are a nutritious food! For man and animals! We as seeds don't see that our kind, is made into hundreds of products that help countless others in the world! Paper products, fuel, food, tires, drywall, spark plugs, instant coffee and tea, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

We as seeds do not see this whole other world out there for us. All we see is our confusion, whoa, and heartache.

SO it is with us. We can only see and feel where we are. Having faith in God is having faith that there is a whole other world out there for us. There is a huge big picture that we don't understand or see.

Having faith in God is being bold enough to say that I do not have all the answers. I don't know why God chooses for good people to die young. I don't know why people in our world are starving to death. People in our world are killing each other based on religious beliefs. There are still places in this world with no clean water. There is much pain and suffering here, in this time.

My faith tells me that all of these things are leading towards a whole other realm that we do not see or understand yet. There is so much more to the story of God's Redemption of the earth.

I Am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” (John 14:1-4 ESV)

Into the VOID: American Young Adults

Today I was praying for some of our young adults down in FL. Then it hit me; I never really put into words how important I believe that Young Adult Outreach/Ministry truly is.

The statistics are in, and they are very scary. 6 out of 10 people starting from the age of 15 will leave the Church permanently or for an extended period.

Just sit and think about that for a second. 60%.

More than half of the kids in your youth group. Yes. Even the really active ones.

Truth?

I am one of them.

Although Shanon and I are both active in the Church today, I for one, am part of the 60%, because I left the church from about 17-until 22.

Let me explain the "void" a bit further.

The American Church by design has been set up to engage all people, regardless of age. Mostly.

Starting with the Nursery, babies are cared for, sung to, and nurtured into the care of the Church. Next, Children's Church teaches songs, does arts and crafts, and teaches short Bible stories. Next you have Jr/Sr high ministry, which can mean so many different things. Youth are usually engaged in a more edgy and raw way, encouraged to dig deeper into spirituality, and for 60% of us, plant the seeds that carry us through the rest of our lives.

Then, there is this void.

"I am now too old to be a part of the youth ministry, but yet I am still too young to hang with couples, or small families, or older folks. I'm not ready to be that "old" yet. Where do I go?"

This void lasts, sometimes until marriage, kids, mortgage, or at least until I have something to talk to the young Father's about.

And why do people walk away?

Here are some answers I have obtained since working with youth/young adults.

DOUBT - Young people have doubts. They are asked hard questions. They are engaged with new Collegiate studies that push their boundaries and understanding.

RELEVANCY - Being Bombarded through social media, electronics, friends, hobbies, college, jobs, makes it hard for a young adult to come to a place and hear a sermon. Most of the time sermon's that they don't find themselves identifying with. Besides, "I have taken two college science courses by now, and I am starting to view things a bit differently. But there is no one I trust to talk to."

EXCLUSIVITY - Some young people feel like they have to choose between their friends and their faith. "There doesn't seem to be any tolerance whatsoever for the things I see and deal with every day."

This is just scratching the surface.

Where does your church stand in this void? How does your church engage youth once they "age out" of the youth group?

How can you help?

ALL of these, are excellent questions.

The 60% is depending on you.

FABRICS.....Threads.......

Music has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. My Sisters and Parents have told me stories of how even at a very young age I would sing my own songs on the couch, sometimes in protest of my Mom not letting me play outside and things of that sort. ( I was punk rock from the start...lol)

Let me stop you here. I have not been a mystical person. Ever. I am generally turned off or away from people when they start reading too much into things and begin to think every single solitary thing that happens is somehow divine and telling them something. I'm not there.

Music has threaded it's way through my life. Somehow music has been the thread that forms the fabric surrounding my memories, and moments in time. I'm not sure why, but there are just some songs that take me back to a very specific place and time in my past. Some of these moments are fond occasions that bring a smile to my face. Some of these moments are painful. Some are yet both.

Where can I start this thread? This song has weaved it's way through so much of the last 5 years of my life.

I do not recall the first time that I heard the song called "How he Loves". But what I do recall, is that it spoke volumes to me. It immediately was stuck in my head, and became one of my all-time favorite worship songs.

For the last month, we have been praying for affirmation. The transition to Michigan has been trying, and things have not gone anywhere near close to planned. Not even a little bit. We found ourselves in a place where we began to question if we had perhaps fallen out of step with God's plan. We began to wonder if we had taken a wrong turn somewhere.

So we began to pray. Nothing specific. Just that God might begin to show us that we are where he wants us.

In a conversation about two weeks ago, Shanon and I talked about friends. She was telling me how she had been missing one of our friends in FL, and even though they still text from time to time, they felt so far away. I remember telling her specifically that I really didn't think I had been very close with anyone since my brother Darrell died. Since that bond was broken, I had just kind of floated along. We both shed some tears and went to bed.

(That's Darrell on the right =)

The last time I was able to spend time with my brother Darrell, was just after he had went into HOSPICE care at my mother's house. On my final evening in town, I was able to borrow an acoustic guitar from a friend, and we had this awesome time of worship together. I think a couple of my sisters were there as well. He sang along with me to "How he Loves". He even asked me to play it again.  I will never forget this night, the songs we sang, and the time we spent in prayer before I had to get in a car and drive 1200 miles away. 

The Sunday after Darrell passed away, I and two of my sisters attended Darrell's Church. It seemed fitting. Wouldn't you know it, "How he Loves" was the last song that the worship band played that morning. My sisters and I, standing with our arms on each other's shoulders, rocked back and fourth and belted that song out at the top of our lungs. It was a beautiful moment that I will never forget. 

Snap forward to a week ago. My son Alex and I were at one of our friends houses, we had done some work for them that evening. While we were there, somehow we got on the subject of my brother. I shared about some visions and dreams I had had, back when he was alive. It was a great talk. 

Well before long, her husband came home. As I approached him I saw his shirt, and for a moment I almost broke into tears. This is what he was wearing: 

 

Now, this shirt is kind of a big deal. Darrell had made this shirt semi-famous in the family. So much so that after he passed away, I made a special trip to his daughter, so she could have it. I had never seen ANYONE wear this shirt besides my brother. Could this be God telling me something? On the way home, we heard "How he Loves" on the radio. We also heard that John Mark McMillan (songwriter) was coming in concert to a church the next town over from us. weird, right? 

Later on I read the thread on a picture that Joe's wife had posted of Alex and I helping them out. A couple of the responses used the word "family". Could this be God responding to the conversation that Shanon and I had? 

We continue to pray. God show us that we are in the right place. 

So yesterday, (Friday), I get a message on facebook from our Pastor. "Hello Steve, someone contacted me wanting to bless your family, is it ok for me to give them your phone number? Good people :)"

So naturally I say, ok. 

I tell Shanon what Pat messaged, and we both kind of looked at each other. We began to speak of vegetables, it's the harvest time of year here, maybe someone had veggies for us. Maybe someone made us dinner? The suspense was killing us. 

So my phone rings. On the other end is a man named Chuck. He is a friend of a friend, and they have an extra car they don't need. After praying about it, they thought they should give it to us........yeah. He seriously said that. I didn't even know what to say. What do you say to something like that? Besides thank you???!!!

So Chuck and his wife Pam come over today. This is not a old rag tag car. This is a car they could have sold and got a bit of money for. Incredible. They stay for almost an hour, they pray with us for us and the car, and I swear to you, they left as old friends. Not strangers. Seems like we have known them for years. 

Perhaps God is telling us something, yes? 

So after they leave, I go to move the car from where it was parked. 

I start it up, and I hear......

Thank you God, for affirming we are where we are supposed to be. Thank you God for always giving us what we do not deserve. 

Thank you God, for the fabrics. 

"Real" Moments

Many times in my life, I have found myself in places that could be best described as “real”. This is not to say that there are not other ways to describe them. Perhaps a better picture of the “real” I’m speaking of is needed.

            “Real” situations would be those times where something happens, and then all falsehood, all fake-ness, all misrepresentations, all of the lies, all of the things we hide, all of that stuff, falls to the floor, and we find ourselves completely transparent.

            In the early summer of 2006, my brother Darrell called me at work, telling me that he and his wife Heather were at the hospital. Heather had gone into early labor, the staff had told them that the baby was in distress, and they weren't being told exactly what to do next. I went to the hospital to be with them. After a night of more questions than answers, waiting, and lots of horrible coffee, in an instant the heartbeat on the monitor stopped.

I left the room, and the baby was delivered. The nurse finally gave me permission to go back in the room. When I opened the door, Darrell was standing at the window, in the bright light of the morning, with a ruffled baby blanket in his arms. His daughter Katie was inside. The room was quiet. It seemed like everything had slowed down. There were no words. This moment was so “real”.

            In June of 2012, I stood in the same delivery room. In my mind all I could think about was all the conversations I would have with Shanon about having babies. We would hear a news story about someone abandoning a baby or horrible things that were done to babies. We would get so mad. Why? Why would God let those people have babies but we couldn't? My palms were sweaty. I thought about Darrell, and how crazy everything was the last time I was here. Everything felt like it was slowing down. I was handed a ruffled baby blanket, and inside was my son, Andrew. My eyes welled up with tears. There were no words. This moment also, was “real”.

            When I was in 10^th Grade, My Dad showed up at lunchtime in the cafeteria. I knew something was up, because my Mom worked there and she was not running the register like normal. The look on Dad’s face was not a good one. I remember knowing something was bad by the look on his face. He pulled me aside and let me know that my Uncle Bill (my Mom’s brother) had passed away in Chicago. I can still remember how the brick wall I was leaning against felt on my shoulder. I had just recently begun to have rapport with him. Dad wanted to take me home, but I told him I wanted to stay at school. I guess it just hadn’t hit me yet. I sat down at my usual table, and I must have had a weird look because everyone was asking me if I was ok. After a few minutes I got up and walked home. On the walk home, it seemed like everything slowed down. Up until this point, I had never fully felt grief. Not close like this. There were no words. As the leaves were blowing off the trees in their various colors, I seemed to walk between them. This walk home was “real”.

            In February of 2001, I stood at an alter and watched a beautiful girl in a white dress walk down the aisle towards me, and take my hand in marriage. I had never thought this day would come for me. Even some of our closest friends at this point said that this was a bad idea, and that we wouldn't last. This had to have been the most nervous I had ever been in my life. But somehow, as we stood there, I looked into her eyes, and I just new everything was going to work out. The hair on the back of my neck kept standing up, and I found my mouth to be remarkably dry. I felt like I was living someone else’s life. They announced us as man and wife, and it seemed like time stopped. I looked at Shanon as she was looking back at me, and I just knew. As we walked back up the aisle together, I couldn't help but stare at her. There were no words.

Everyone experiences moments like these at some point. These moments are more special to me because of the realness. The transparency. The human being at its most bare and raw form. The things that weigh the most can’t be weighed. We all share this experience; of knowing that the moment we are in has more “depth” than meets the eye. More weight than normal. We know that things will not be the same after these moments pass.

We are all spiritual beings. Of this I am sure. Our sensory capabilities go so much farther than the simple sight, taste, smell, touch, and sound. In our moments of grief, joy, excitement, wonder, love, heartbreak, and sorrow, we find that we experience all of these without the five senses. We were designed to experience these things. In these “real” places, God is closer than ever. At least, it seems so. In these “real” places, it is so incredibly easy to see and feel the hand of God in them.

We are all connected on some spiritual level. We all feel tragedy. All of us at our deepest levels long for truth and justice. We are made to experience God. We were made to experience Him on so many different levels. The more real and transparent we become, the more we are able to experience God and all he has for us.

Get “real” with God. 

CHURCH as a VERB.

For much of my Christian Life, I have had splendid conversations with so many people about church, and what the church should look like. We pass ideas, opinions, ways to reach out to the culture that we find ourselves in. We sip our coffee, and we "what if". We hypothesize,  we fantasize, maybe we make a list.

However, for the majority of my Christian experience, I have never seen a church that does as much as Church on the Street, in Linden, MI. Now, I don't mean for this to be a post that just brags about a particular church. I am truly blown away by the things that are done, every week, every day, by pretty much everyone at this little church.

For example, our son Andrew is extremely over-attached. That may be an understatement. So the first time that we attended our church, I found myself with a sniffling watery eyed two year old that wouldn't let go of my leg, in the nursery. This church is no stranger to children. There were several kids Drew's age and a little younger in there, and also double that number of older children, all together in a big room with a small divider.  As I sat and was trying to comfort Drew, the lights go out on the other side of the room, and the older kids lay down on the mats. Music is playing softly, and I watch as the Children's leader goes from child to child, placing her hand on their forehead, and prays for each child aloud, by name. I have never witnessed this. It was a very beautiful moment.

This church meets together, with an expectation, not a hope, of a movement of the Holy Spirit. And it happens, in profound ways; most of which I am not accustomed to. And even some that catch me of guard.

This past week, after the songs were over, as he was about to begin his message, the Pastor stopped, and just stated that He was being led to pray. So we did. He did. People stood up and shared testimonies. It was spontaneous, relevant, eye opening, and refreshing. The sensitivity to the moving of the spirit in this place is amazing. Again, I have never experienced anything like this before.

This church is literally full of adopted children. Seriously, there are so many different nationalities and colors in this church that it will blow your mind. This in itself is amazing, however, it gets better. Not only have a bunch of people in the church pursued the order to "care for orphans", or are currently in the process of doing so, but there is one family in particular that will knock your socks off.

One family, has adopted 14 children. You read that right, but wait, there is more. Most of the children they have adopted have a disability. Two of them were born terminally ill, and only lived under a year. They adopt children that no one will. They get calls from across the country. They say yes when literally everyone else says no. Because they believe Matthew 25:40. They act upon it, they live it.

We are so incredibly happy and fortunate to have found this church. This Church does. It is indeed a verb. Not a building.

What if, more churches looked like this?

derailment.

As we move forward with our lives, I take a moment of pause here to collect my thoughts and reflect on what my family and I have experienced over the last year and a half.

We once had an amazing relationship with the Pastor and his Wife. I honestly looked to them as a second pair of parents, and surely the Pastor was like a father to me. He taught me so much about the ministry. Gave me feedback, and even helped Shanon and I through a rough patch we had. 

In August of 2012, my brother decided to opt out of another brain surgery that he needed, and instead began hospice care. Shanon and I had a barely running family vehicle at that time, and were having trouble renting a vehicle to make the trip up. They were gracious enough to loan us their practically brand new vehicle to drive up there. Just amazing. Amazing friends/mentors/board game players. 

Then, three days after returning from Detroit for my brother's funeral, we had a meeting. I am still to this day foggy on what we discussed other than my brother. 

Apparently we heard two different conversations, because what was contained in the minutes of the Elder's meeting and what I remember are two entirely different things. 

We exchanged emails. 

His response was dismissive, and un-apologetic. 

(I was wrong.)

And that's it. That's where it ended.

For the longest time, we had thought we were surrounded by all of these people who loved us, people who wanted us around, people who valued us as a family.

All of a sudden we were floating all alone. The Church that we had poured ourselves into, prayed with and for, and spent so much time trying to make a difference with, turned their back and simply walked away. 

I was left to deal with my grief, alone. 

Not a phone call, a visit, nothing. 

For that matter, no one on the Elder's board contacted me. We had one lunch, with the assistant Pastor, and that was it. 

We were removed from group leadership, and quickly replaced. Everyone was told we resigned. We also got an invite to the new group that was starting in our group's place. This indicates to me that while my brother was in Hospice care, or when he died, or even as I was helping with planning his funeral, somewhere in there a plan was put in place, new leaders were found, and even a new group name was thought of and ready to go. All of this information came to light less than a week after my brother's funeral. 

And that was that. 

I still, have not heard from Pastor or his Wife. 

We mourn this loss. 

In the end, my family was not worth a knock on the door, a phone call, a letter, another email, ....anything. 

This is our last experience with a church that we were heavily involved with. We have visited many churches in the past year, but we never really found a new home.

I don't think we were even ready.

It is important to note some simple lessons here.

One, changes in leadership and decisions of this sort, should get a respectful amount of time after someone experiences the loss of someone from their immediate family. Had this happened, I am confident that the outcome would have been different. I am sure that the feeling of being manipulated that I have would not be here. Using this situation to one's advantage is surely not something that I believe that God would encourage of his church, or it's leaders.

Two, if people truly matter, and you value them as friends and brothers and sisters in Christ, show up. IF they are going through something catastrophic, listen. No one has a wand that can take suffering away. But don't turn away. Let them know you care. Let them know you miss them. Let them know they are not alone. Let them know that the very structure of friends and church around them hasn't burned to the ground.

These two lessons, as obvious as they seem, have been learned the hard way. Perhaps this prepares us for our future Church or ministry. Perhaps this helps us to continue to be the people that show up in times of loss. In times of grief. In hard times. 

I am hopeful that we will again find a church home when we get back to Michigan. I am confident that there is a church out there that will feel we are worth it. I know we are. 

I am hopeful that we can once again learn to trust people, and that they will care for us as much as we care for them. 

We hope. 

That's a start.